Besides the long blog I just wrote - A poll too !!! (A pole?)
Yes I am trying to get into your heads :)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
The ongoing story of JM - The current
I realised early in blogging that writing with a plan is contradictory to the blogging model. I do want to write about JM but I also want to stay true to blogging style (?).
So I could have written, as I intended about how things developed between us over the last 2 years. There is also however the current situation and my desire to capture that before I lose interest. Also I am more enthused to write this piece than recalling history today. That means, dear friends that my blog will continue to be a mish-mash :), I hope it all makes sense in some way though.
The sub-heading for this blog could have been - What a week!
Last week my hubby went away for a few days. Reflecting on this its interesting that my first thoughts were on the fun I could have. Gears were turning in my head as he spoke. Don't get me wrong, I miss him terribly when he's away and our adorable child seems to just know that dad's away and their is a chink in the parental armour.
The trip for hubby was work related and came up suddenly - we only found out that Friday.
He asked me if he should tell his bosses no and I, without wanting to seem too eager to have him away urged him to go. Beyond the obvious reason for wanting him to go I do worry about his sense of ambition. Hubby has this don't care attitude a lot towards work. He's become very comfortable where he is. This wouldn't be a bad thing except it affects him when a co-worker is promoted or when our friends start flying above us. I think its because he is a professional. He is very qualified and knows he can always find a job. We talk about this a lot and he will say something like 'Isn't that exactly why I studied? To be able to take it easy?' and I will go 'Sure, but then be happy with where you are. You've got to put in the effort and really want something before you can get it. The degrees just mean you get a seat at the table easier.' In the last few years he's turned down many opportunities and again that would be ok if he just forgot about it. There have been opportunities to speak, travel, manage projects +++ and its been the same kind of reasoning always. 'Why should I?' or 'Don't we have enough?' or something like that. Me on the other hand, I stick my fingers wherever I can looking for new opportunities. I don't have a degree and I've had to rely on excellent performance to get ahead.
(I knew I'd go off on a tangent. This writing without editing thing really my thinking.)While hubby was readying himself and making calls I took a walk in the garden and called JM. (I still get paranoid and if I make a call then its usually in the garden, facing the house so I can see if anyone is approaching). JM doesn't have the same issues, he is on the phone most of the time so his wife never questions him, or cares to, I guess.JM and I had had a brief fight and reconciliation and there was still a bit of tentativeness on my side. (another story for another time or never :)). Some background is required here. On the few occasions that hubby has gone away, JM has always been insistent on coming home and I have generally fought against the idea. Not that I don't like it, but it is a bit too risky . I tend to spend the time constantly expecting the bedroom door to open while I'm with him and oddly it's Mrs Satan that comes through the door in my nightmares.
This is how our conversation went sort of.
Me - 'He's going away for a few days'
I can almost hear his smile.JM - 'We should make the most of it'
Me - 'Yeah'Before he can say anything more.
Me - 'Can you spend the night here?'I can definitely hear his smile.
I say something like - 'Do you think you can manage that? You are getting OLDer and all' (He turned 40 this year. I think its made him want to prove a lot, but then again I'm not sure, he's always out to prove a lot.)He is containing his laughter, barely :)
Me - 'Ok, how about 3 days time?'We chat a little about logistics and wonderful little innuendos that make me want to touch myself right there, almost, until I see hubby and hang up with a smile.
Things were pretty hectic at home in preparation for hubby's trip. I insisted he get a new suit in my constant attempt to make him understand that looking smart isn't silly and looking like a school teacher doesn't make people think you are more intelligent. The day arrives and his parents come over to see him off as well. Mum-in-law and I have grown to respect each others space but still share the odd one-day-if-I-could-get-away-with-it-I-would... moments, all with a smile of course.Then, believe it or not, the in-laws ask if our child can spend a night with them. Note 1 - No one really mentioned the mother of said child who would be all alone Note 2 - She asks while hubby is still here, probably thinking I'd say no in his absence.
The Universe is definitely aligning in my favour. (Courtsies graciously to the Universe)Hubby leaves
I both love and hate airports. More hate than love. Yes there are those 'Love Actually' moments but overall its this horrible race even if you arrive early.
I'd spoken to JM earlier, Tuesday was perfect but we both wanted to see each other urgently, and even though I had to get back to our house where the in-laws were, after seeing hubby off I went to meet him at the flat.It was a rushed day and I still had to get home, we literally undressed as quickly as we can and proceeded to ticking off an energetic fucking of our day's to-do list. All in all my detour probably added little over an extra hour, INCLUDING freshening up. It was honestly like a necessary pit-stop and when I got back home I was lagging behind time and sort of catching up with my senses and my breath - Ok, look serene, smile, agree with what's said, entertain for the exactly appropriate amount of time so that its not 'you know she's different when you're away', be super-mum, and then take it all in 'Phew -who says there aren't any super heroes?
The next day I am in this supercharged mode. Work, that thing we do, that hungry little beast that must be fed in blood, takes one look at me and heads off, tail between it's legs. The morning goes by fast, so fast that I realise suddenly its midday and my bladder is bursting. The little 'measurement tasks' that I've been assigned are finished and I'm still in a super-energised mode, confident I can conquer the world and maybe even Microsoft Word.
JM calls me and asks if he can come over that night. I would so love to but it would be crazy, tomorrow is perfect.'Meet me at the flat later then
''Yes' - (Why pretend? So what that it's another crazy day with hubby away and me having to pick up our child from his parents.)
At the flat JM is annoyingly relaxed as a counter to my supercharged, not so slightly manic state.
He draws out kissing me and he knows he's driving me nuts, but I can't TELL him what to do (I'll explain sometime). His hand is churning my loins as we kiss.
'I can't be here long'
He tells me how that's bullshit and how ridiculous it is that when hubby is away we have less time.
I don't say anything and he just proceeds to kiss me passionately. I try to rub his cock but he moves my hand away.
As his mouth devours my neck I beg him 'Let me suck you ... please'
He says nothing, still devouring me selfishly.
I feel the couch behind me and suddenly he spins me around.
My skirt is inelegantly thrown on my back, my panties pulled down and my legs moved apart in resistance to the elastic. He keeps pushing me over the couch till my feet are barely touching the ground.
There is an agonising period of nothing, then I grunt as that tantalising finger is thrust into my molten cunt (sometimes I have a pussy, sometimes a precious, this time it was a hungry cunt :). I'm taken with the lasciviousness of this, I can't see him, yet I'm in a position offering my sex to him.
He fingers me, alternating somewhere between adoring tenderness, clinical inspection and ruthless churning. My legs turn to jelly and I cum powerfully.
Just as I give in to the end of my sweet torment and the lazy afterglow of orgasm, he quickly gets his cock in me.
He starts slowly and I feel a gentle continuation of my orgasm.
Then I feel him picking up the pace, slamming it into me, not manic but with calculated precision. Soon my legs are of the floor and my face is trying to not to be smothered in the couch. Every time I fall forward he pulls me back hard onto his cock. I grunt with each hard thrust. God I love what this man does to me.
As he starts pumping faster I realise this has had the same effect on him, he is fucking to cum now.
Somewhere between some hard thrusting his cock explodes in my. He pushes it in deep and holds it there. By now (actually long before this) I'm not really in any state to contribute. He pulls off panting and I'm pleased to see him sink to the floor. I let the couch consume me and for a while I just lie there catching my breath. Eventually I roll of the couch and literally crawl around to him on the floor. I do a half hearted attempt at sucking his cock but my breathings to ragged and we both laugh it off. Thats one of the nicer things about JM, he can totally own the dominant male lover role, its natural to him and a lot of people don't get this - its not about anger or violence but passion, and then after we can laugh and I'm not thinking about a restraining order.
And that wasn't even THE night yet. As I said - What a week.
Love you all,
A
Monday, November 9, 2009
Now that I can still blog ... The ongoing story of JM
Thank you to everyone who commented on my last blog. I really appreciate it and it means a lot.
Amy
JM is an interesting part of my life, and that I can admit he's a part of my life is interesting. Initially I had this very distant approach to affairs. No involvement. Keep it short and simple. Leave before anything can possibly get complicated or too risky. Ideally he will be on a plane for his home country and that ends that. So how did I get involved with a guy for approaching two years now? Hopefully my confusion at the start and my reasons for staying involved come across. This is written more as a story than as a blog.
It was September 2007 a few days after my birthday. The first time I saw JM I had that uncomfortable self-consciousness when you stare at someone too intently and then think to yourself 'I wonder if people saw me stare', then you look away, compose yourself and look again with practiced nonchalance. I'm sure I'm not the only one whose experienced this.
Truth is I'd stared at a few delicious men like that but all had been passing strangers and apart from the odd look back and smile or the occasional stare-down (yes I can be petty!) that had all been innocent enough with no hope of anything more.
JM was my boss, everyone's boss at my last company in fact. Way too dangerous for even a notion of flirting to be entertained. I knew that from day one
My situation at the time was that I hadn't dated in ages. There'd been a brief tryst with a foreigner from a dating site earlier in the year but apart from that - nothing. Being a new mum took precedence over everything.
I doubt he noticed me that day with all the staff standing goggle-eyed with our pens and pads wanting to capture every word the new boss uttered as if it would somehow save us from something - lay-offs maybe, theres always that fear that with a new boss there will be changes. More likely its probably our need to be liked and our need to impress.
He was gorgeous. Tall. Immaculately but stylishly dressed in a light grey suit. (I'd find out later he wears ridiculously expensive labels) I loved the way he used his hands as he spoke, like conducting an orchestra. The wedding band was very visible. His voice was confident but relatively soft considering he was addressing a room full of people. His entire manner exuded confidence. There was no stuttering or recoiling from difficult questions and I saw him win more than one war of wills that day. Of course as the timid employee I was skulking around at the back dreading the thought that he'd point at me and ask me if I had a question. I had no idea what he'd even been saying!
I'm sure in many lives and fantasies, my thirst would have been quenched in a few days and I could easily have seduced him at the office with just a quick stare. The reality is I said nothing and avoided talking to him. I'm not an idiot (really!) and he was not just a co-worker and I liked my job and I knew how complicated office relationships get and I knew how dangerous office relationships get and and and...
I did think about him a lot though, bad licentious and delicious dreams. For some reason theres hardly ever any talking in my dreams (Is that true for everyone?), just experiencing.
So I decided to do nothing but that didn't stop me looking at the object of my cravings. It was pretty much a schoolgirl type crush at a much more adult level in my head. He was oblivious, although much later he'd tell me that he'd noticed me from day one - what a sweet lie :), what else could he say?
Insert: I am usually not forward with men. There's only one other noticable incident where I hit on a guy. It was at a conference/training program away from home a few years ago. Most of the day I'd been chatting with a guy who was really nice. Throughout the day I wrongly assumed he'd make some move or the other on me, but nothing. I could tell he was attracted to me but he wasn't going to take it further. The event was at the hotel we both were staying at and we were to freshen up and come back for supper. To cut a long uneccessary story short, I picked up my courage, engineered that we would be alone in the lift alone by using subtle delay tactics and once we where in the lift ----- I kissed him :)
Back to JM. Things at the office weren't good with a lot of the management leaving (or being asked to leave) when he took over. I found out much later from him that the previous MD had been given his walking orders as there had been lots that had been going wrong in the company. When JM shared these secrets with me (much later) I was was surprised as I'd never known what had been going on. Staff morale was low and JM decided on a team-building event. A day and night away with all sorts of activities planned. As an employee I can tell you, I personally hate those things - I think they're just there so the boss can show his power and feed his ego while feeding the minions - give me the money!
In my head I'd done the pros and cons of a relationship with JM. Not that he showed any interest, but you're allowed to make up stuff in your head. At that point you can guess I was already rationalising approaching him. Cons - Lots! If he didn't feel the same I couldn't go on working there and I really loved my job. The risks with dating any co-worker and especially the boss are always serious. JM was married and from what he'd said in his many talks to us, his family was really important.
Logic...does it ever win?
I worked it out that the away team-building event indicated Fate and the Universe had decided I should be proactive. Of course lol
The entire day at the team-building I was someplace else, formulating my approach. It was the first I saw JM in non-business dress, shorts and T and then at the pool (don't stare too hard now) topless, he looked so great.
That evening we had supper in this huge room. People were already starting to get very drunk - A free bar will do that, and many were clinging onto JM doing the usual laugh-at-his-every-joke routine.
I was a nervous wreck and thats a bit odd for me. 'What would I say?' 'How?' 'When?' 'What if he burst out laughing?'. I hope you can identify with my state then.
It seemed impossible to get him alone so I joined the smokers group he was with outside. He wasn't smoking (he doesn't at the office only when alone) just talking to them. I stood there a while, trying to be part of the conversation but I kept losing track of what they were saying.
Eventually when the group started moving inside I asked JM if I could speak to him alone.
And then I couldn't remember how to say what I wanted to say. So I babbled a little. This next bit could be considered amusing except for how terrified I was.
I'd said something nonsensical and JM decided to put on his management hat. He assumed I was another disgruntled employee and went into this long speech about giving the company a chance and giving him a chance and how my skills were valuable even though I wasn't sure he knew exactly what I did.
Eventually I managed to get a word in and I think what I said was something like this ...
Me: 'It's not that I like my job'
JM: Nods
Me: 'I don't want to leave'
JM: Nods
Me: 'I don't want to cause trouble or anything and I know you're married and I'm married too and I know you're the MD and ....' there was a lot of incoherent babbling here.
JM: Nods
Me: blabbering more
JM: Nods
Me: saying things and more than a little weirded out that he is now so silent and seems to be analysing me
Me: stops talking
JM: says nothing
Me: realising we should be getting back in and wondering if anyone is wondering why I've hijacked the boss
JM: nothing
Me: I babble out 'I've been thinking about you. Ifyouwantyoucancometomyroomlater.'
Me: literally turns and runs inside
There was more I think but you get the gist.
At our supper table I replay the conversation. Definitely not mystifyingly seductive.
At around 11.30pm I decide to go to my room. I am totally unable to follow what my colleagues are saying so I tell them I have a bit of a headache and leave. I do the minion thing and stop at JM's table and wish everyone good night. I don't hesitate to see if there is anything readable on his face.
Its a long walk to my room through the gardens and scary night sounds. Each of us has a separate little bungalow and even though I'm not one to be afraid of the dark or sleeping alone, that night my senses are heightened.
In my room I start having a panic attack or what I think is one. I shower and change and wait for a bit then I call home and even though its late hubby is happy to hear chat for a little. Then he has to try and get some sleep. Again I sit alone in the room.
Its about 1.30am and there is no JM. Maybe he never heard what I said? It's possible with the noise at the restaurant. What if he did hear and he's joking about it right now with colleagues? I'll deny anything. Come Monday I hand in my resignation and put this behind me. Close to tears I fall asleep in the lovely terry cloth robe provided, thinking how badly I've fucked up.
Of course the story doesn't end there.
Its about 3am when I hear the soft knocking on my door. I struggle to get up and realise where I am.
Then I realise 'Oh shit, its him'
'One minute', I yell too loudly next to the door. I quickly freshen up, gargle etc...
I open the door and he comes in from the pitch darkness.
This time I don't babble. More honestly, I'm still only half awake.
We talk a bit, nervously or awkwardly. He asks me if I thought he wasn't coming and if I want him to leave or stay. I'm not sure I answer him. He explains that he couldn't get away from the late night group. He reaches for my hand and pulls me closer. I can feel those wonderfully horrid butterflies in my stomach. He starts kissing me all over and I'm now finally awake fully. He's a great kisser except for the alcohol taste on his mouth. He opens my robe and takes in my body commenting how good I look. (I'm just in panties). He starts kissing me madly, my neck, lips, face, his hands are all over me all at once.
He backs me to the bed. He wants to fuck me desperately. I manage to stop him.
I smile as best I can. 'You should shower first'. I know its killing the mood but I want to enjoy this and he smells like a soccer team in a vinyard.
He's totally apologetic and agrees. But then I decide to surprise him first. I sit on the bed and looking up tell him 'after this'. He catches on quick. I'm fully awake now and dying to see his cock. He is rock hard and beautiful, he has a nice thick, no-nonsense cock, not as big as AM who I'd meet later but really club-like and virile looking. I lick him then take him in my mouth. I've thought about this a lot and theres an urgency in me that early morning. (You can read my other blog on why I love doing this). He cums quickly, JM isn't a loud person but his breathing becomes deep and heavy. His hand gently behind my head. He watches me intently, facinated I think, overawed as I look back at him and milk his cock. Its a lot. I am so happy at this point.
He has this huge grin on his face as I continue to stimulate his over sensitive cock.
I join him in the shower and wash him, my hands exploring his muscles, his lines. We kiss ravenously. I'm not a fan of sex in the shower but a warm shower can be the ultimate place to kiss and make out. I'm eager to feel him in me but this build-up is excrutiatingly nice.
Its probably 4am by the time we have dried each other and manage to unglue our lips to get into bed. JM is by far the best kisser I have ever met. His mouth seems to simultaneously envelope and penetrate mine, his kisses are wet yet not sloshy (is that a word?). He seems very comfortable kissing me and by that I mean his kissing is natural not some routine that I think some people have. If you watch Friends - my favourite ever sitcom, Monica had a sex routine involving the erogenous zones and I do think some guys I've dated had a routine, sort of like - kiss soft, kiss harder, upper lip, lower lip, tongue, tongues, ok let's fuck now. With JM I really believed he could kiss for an hour or more simply because he loved kissing. Maybe I haven't met more kiss-crazy men. Or maybe the lips are more of an erogenous zone to women than men? Anyway for me a kiss can be so much more than sex - really!
We kiss a lot on the bed and he literally kisses me all over. Toes to head. Again we kiss and those beautiful hands are all over me. His one hand is exploring my secret depths and goes from light stroking to eventually it feels like he's trying to churn butter! I start to orgasm and he stops. No. No. No that was good, really good...don't stop...please. He's on me now and we fuck like two people who've been deprived for ages. One is anyway.
I don't realise it but I fall asleep. At about 7am the phone wakes me. It's hubby. JM is already in the shower again and I panic hoping he won't walk in talking loudly. I answer anyway. (Tip: Always know where the mute key on your mobile is). JM walks in smiles and puts his finger to his lips conspiratorially.
While he texts on his mobile, I chat on the phone and make my way to the bathroom. I can see JM is not getting dressed. Good.
He is kissing me and we're urgent now. This would mark the point where I stopped my short period of leading things. Its a good hard morning fuck made incredible by the absolute desire between us for us. You can be the perfect phyical lover IMHO, the thing that makes sex amazing is desire.
And that dear friends is how it began.
A
Amy
JM is an interesting part of my life, and that I can admit he's a part of my life is interesting. Initially I had this very distant approach to affairs. No involvement. Keep it short and simple. Leave before anything can possibly get complicated or too risky. Ideally he will be on a plane for his home country and that ends that. So how did I get involved with a guy for approaching two years now? Hopefully my confusion at the start and my reasons for staying involved come across. This is written more as a story than as a blog.
It was September 2007 a few days after my birthday. The first time I saw JM I had that uncomfortable self-consciousness when you stare at someone too intently and then think to yourself 'I wonder if people saw me stare', then you look away, compose yourself and look again with practiced nonchalance. I'm sure I'm not the only one whose experienced this.
Truth is I'd stared at a few delicious men like that but all had been passing strangers and apart from the odd look back and smile or the occasional stare-down (yes I can be petty!) that had all been innocent enough with no hope of anything more.
JM was my boss, everyone's boss at my last company in fact. Way too dangerous for even a notion of flirting to be entertained. I knew that from day one
My situation at the time was that I hadn't dated in ages. There'd been a brief tryst with a foreigner from a dating site earlier in the year but apart from that - nothing. Being a new mum took precedence over everything.
I doubt he noticed me that day with all the staff standing goggle-eyed with our pens and pads wanting to capture every word the new boss uttered as if it would somehow save us from something - lay-offs maybe, theres always that fear that with a new boss there will be changes. More likely its probably our need to be liked and our need to impress.
He was gorgeous. Tall. Immaculately but stylishly dressed in a light grey suit. (I'd find out later he wears ridiculously expensive labels) I loved the way he used his hands as he spoke, like conducting an orchestra. The wedding band was very visible. His voice was confident but relatively soft considering he was addressing a room full of people. His entire manner exuded confidence. There was no stuttering or recoiling from difficult questions and I saw him win more than one war of wills that day. Of course as the timid employee I was skulking around at the back dreading the thought that he'd point at me and ask me if I had a question. I had no idea what he'd even been saying!
I'm sure in many lives and fantasies, my thirst would have been quenched in a few days and I could easily have seduced him at the office with just a quick stare. The reality is I said nothing and avoided talking to him. I'm not an idiot (really!) and he was not just a co-worker and I liked my job and I knew how complicated office relationships get and I knew how dangerous office relationships get and and and...
I did think about him a lot though, bad licentious and delicious dreams. For some reason theres hardly ever any talking in my dreams (Is that true for everyone?), just experiencing.
So I decided to do nothing but that didn't stop me looking at the object of my cravings. It was pretty much a schoolgirl type crush at a much more adult level in my head. He was oblivious, although much later he'd tell me that he'd noticed me from day one - what a sweet lie :), what else could he say?
Insert: I am usually not forward with men. There's only one other noticable incident where I hit on a guy. It was at a conference/training program away from home a few years ago. Most of the day I'd been chatting with a guy who was really nice. Throughout the day I wrongly assumed he'd make some move or the other on me, but nothing. I could tell he was attracted to me but he wasn't going to take it further. The event was at the hotel we both were staying at and we were to freshen up and come back for supper. To cut a long uneccessary story short, I picked up my courage, engineered that we would be alone in the lift alone by using subtle delay tactics and once we where in the lift ----- I kissed him :)
Back to JM. Things at the office weren't good with a lot of the management leaving (or being asked to leave) when he took over. I found out much later from him that the previous MD had been given his walking orders as there had been lots that had been going wrong in the company. When JM shared these secrets with me (much later) I was was surprised as I'd never known what had been going on. Staff morale was low and JM decided on a team-building event. A day and night away with all sorts of activities planned. As an employee I can tell you, I personally hate those things - I think they're just there so the boss can show his power and feed his ego while feeding the minions - give me the money!
In my head I'd done the pros and cons of a relationship with JM. Not that he showed any interest, but you're allowed to make up stuff in your head. At that point you can guess I was already rationalising approaching him. Cons - Lots! If he didn't feel the same I couldn't go on working there and I really loved my job. The risks with dating any co-worker and especially the boss are always serious. JM was married and from what he'd said in his many talks to us, his family was really important.
Logic...does it ever win?
I worked it out that the away team-building event indicated Fate and the Universe had decided I should be proactive. Of course lol
The entire day at the team-building I was someplace else, formulating my approach. It was the first I saw JM in non-business dress, shorts and T and then at the pool (don't stare too hard now) topless, he looked so great.
That evening we had supper in this huge room. People were already starting to get very drunk - A free bar will do that, and many were clinging onto JM doing the usual laugh-at-his-every-joke routine.
I was a nervous wreck and thats a bit odd for me. 'What would I say?' 'How?' 'When?' 'What if he burst out laughing?'. I hope you can identify with my state then.
It seemed impossible to get him alone so I joined the smokers group he was with outside. He wasn't smoking (he doesn't at the office only when alone) just talking to them. I stood there a while, trying to be part of the conversation but I kept losing track of what they were saying.
Eventually when the group started moving inside I asked JM if I could speak to him alone.
And then I couldn't remember how to say what I wanted to say. So I babbled a little. This next bit could be considered amusing except for how terrified I was.
I'd said something nonsensical and JM decided to put on his management hat. He assumed I was another disgruntled employee and went into this long speech about giving the company a chance and giving him a chance and how my skills were valuable even though I wasn't sure he knew exactly what I did.
Eventually I managed to get a word in and I think what I said was something like this ...
Me: 'It's not that I like my job'
JM: Nods
Me: 'I don't want to leave'
JM: Nods
Me: 'I don't want to cause trouble or anything and I know you're married and I'm married too and I know you're the MD and ....' there was a lot of incoherent babbling here.
JM: Nods
Me: blabbering more
JM: Nods
Me: saying things and more than a little weirded out that he is now so silent and seems to be analysing me
Me: stops talking
JM: says nothing
Me: realising we should be getting back in and wondering if anyone is wondering why I've hijacked the boss
JM: nothing
Me: I babble out 'I've been thinking about you. Ifyouwantyoucancometomyroomlater.'
Me: literally turns and runs inside
There was more I think but you get the gist.
At our supper table I replay the conversation. Definitely not mystifyingly seductive.
At around 11.30pm I decide to go to my room. I am totally unable to follow what my colleagues are saying so I tell them I have a bit of a headache and leave. I do the minion thing and stop at JM's table and wish everyone good night. I don't hesitate to see if there is anything readable on his face.
Its a long walk to my room through the gardens and scary night sounds. Each of us has a separate little bungalow and even though I'm not one to be afraid of the dark or sleeping alone, that night my senses are heightened.
In my room I start having a panic attack or what I think is one. I shower and change and wait for a bit then I call home and even though its late hubby is happy to hear chat for a little. Then he has to try and get some sleep. Again I sit alone in the room.
Its about 1.30am and there is no JM. Maybe he never heard what I said? It's possible with the noise at the restaurant. What if he did hear and he's joking about it right now with colleagues? I'll deny anything. Come Monday I hand in my resignation and put this behind me. Close to tears I fall asleep in the lovely terry cloth robe provided, thinking how badly I've fucked up.
Of course the story doesn't end there.
Its about 3am when I hear the soft knocking on my door. I struggle to get up and realise where I am.
Then I realise 'Oh shit, its him'
'One minute', I yell too loudly next to the door. I quickly freshen up, gargle etc...
I open the door and he comes in from the pitch darkness.
This time I don't babble. More honestly, I'm still only half awake.
We talk a bit, nervously or awkwardly. He asks me if I thought he wasn't coming and if I want him to leave or stay. I'm not sure I answer him. He explains that he couldn't get away from the late night group. He reaches for my hand and pulls me closer. I can feel those wonderfully horrid butterflies in my stomach. He starts kissing me all over and I'm now finally awake fully. He's a great kisser except for the alcohol taste on his mouth. He opens my robe and takes in my body commenting how good I look. (I'm just in panties). He starts kissing me madly, my neck, lips, face, his hands are all over me all at once.
He backs me to the bed. He wants to fuck me desperately. I manage to stop him.
I smile as best I can. 'You should shower first'. I know its killing the mood but I want to enjoy this and he smells like a soccer team in a vinyard.
He's totally apologetic and agrees. But then I decide to surprise him first. I sit on the bed and looking up tell him 'after this'. He catches on quick. I'm fully awake now and dying to see his cock. He is rock hard and beautiful, he has a nice thick, no-nonsense cock, not as big as AM who I'd meet later but really club-like and virile looking. I lick him then take him in my mouth. I've thought about this a lot and theres an urgency in me that early morning. (You can read my other blog on why I love doing this). He cums quickly, JM isn't a loud person but his breathing becomes deep and heavy. His hand gently behind my head. He watches me intently, facinated I think, overawed as I look back at him and milk his cock. Its a lot. I am so happy at this point.
He has this huge grin on his face as I continue to stimulate his over sensitive cock.
I join him in the shower and wash him, my hands exploring his muscles, his lines. We kiss ravenously. I'm not a fan of sex in the shower but a warm shower can be the ultimate place to kiss and make out. I'm eager to feel him in me but this build-up is excrutiatingly nice.
Its probably 4am by the time we have dried each other and manage to unglue our lips to get into bed. JM is by far the best kisser I have ever met. His mouth seems to simultaneously envelope and penetrate mine, his kisses are wet yet not sloshy (is that a word?). He seems very comfortable kissing me and by that I mean his kissing is natural not some routine that I think some people have. If you watch Friends - my favourite ever sitcom, Monica had a sex routine involving the erogenous zones and I do think some guys I've dated had a routine, sort of like - kiss soft, kiss harder, upper lip, lower lip, tongue, tongues, ok let's fuck now. With JM I really believed he could kiss for an hour or more simply because he loved kissing. Maybe I haven't met more kiss-crazy men. Or maybe the lips are more of an erogenous zone to women than men? Anyway for me a kiss can be so much more than sex - really!
We kiss a lot on the bed and he literally kisses me all over. Toes to head. Again we kiss and those beautiful hands are all over me. His one hand is exploring my secret depths and goes from light stroking to eventually it feels like he's trying to churn butter! I start to orgasm and he stops. No. No. No that was good, really good...don't stop...please. He's on me now and we fuck like two people who've been deprived for ages. One is anyway.
I don't realise it but I fall asleep. At about 7am the phone wakes me. It's hubby. JM is already in the shower again and I panic hoping he won't walk in talking loudly. I answer anyway. (Tip: Always know where the mute key on your mobile is). JM walks in smiles and puts his finger to his lips conspiratorially.
While he texts on his mobile, I chat on the phone and make my way to the bathroom. I can see JM is not getting dressed. Good.
He is kissing me and we're urgent now. This would mark the point where I stopped my short period of leading things. Its a good hard morning fuck made incredible by the absolute desire between us for us. You can be the perfect phyical lover IMHO, the thing that makes sex amazing is desire.
And that dear friends is how it began.
A
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I live and I can still blog :)
Hi,
It's been such a long time since blogging last I was afraid I'd forgotten how. Fellow bloggers do you get in the situation where you postpone blogging but you make mental notes of things you want to blog about and then when the time comes you realise it would take days to write everything and there's more stuff coming in anyway? (eeek)
It's been hectic (one of my big problems with this blog is that there is so much sundry info I just can't share, because I'm borderline sociopathically paranoid - that be my rules and they keep me sane, but it makes the blogging a bit more difficult), but that's no excuse for not blogging a line or two even. Since this blog is primarily written to me (no offence to anyone) I need to say sorry to me first. I really hope me accepts my apology graciously.
I saw this article which I thought was pretty interesting ...
http://findnewpassion.com/articles.php?articleID=4&action=viewarticle
I've been emailed quite a few times mostly as a result of the article in the Independent. The email subjects and my thoughts on them are listed here:
1. There is something wrong with me and I need help - Perhaps and perhaps I can also say that there is something wrong with the type of person that feels the need to write to me and assume a position of moral superiority. There are honest caring people out there but I haven't received any ail from those in the context of this type of email and HONESTLY if they did write and present a good argument I WOULD listen because I am not about hurting my family or myself. It's like why I gave up smoking (started again :( ) - I was pregnant and it was a danger to my baby - I stopped without chemicals or shock therapy. Anyway, these types of emails have been mostly acidic and mostly from men. I've received about 14 like this, and a fair number of them have gone on to tell me how perfect their lives and wives are. Well done! Write to the Dalai Lama and get a medal. Why tell unimportant little me? Uhhh ... guess why it's called cheating? Because one party doesn't know and assumes everything is perfect.
2. Other women who are in similar situations. Interestingly there seems to be a lot more emotional attachments, as in the lover is the emotional substitute for the husband, than I would have thought, but like all things on the internet its highly probable that only certain people read certain things and ... the sample is not a good measure of the population.
3. Men in similar situations. There have been a few really awesome and unbelievably insightful emails from guys and then ... Then theres the 'I want to impress a stranger' guys. They've slept with so many women its frightening and on top of that while being married. How do they manage marriage while never going home? One guy whose email I really enjoyed (intellectually! - focus people) was pretty honest I think. He hasn't had countless lovers and he isn't powerful enough to hire secretaries who he screws and who let him all the time. It took him 2 years to hook up with someone else and that was due to the difficulty in actually meeting someone, getting time, not backing off.
4. Advice givers. Don't get me wrong I love advice but please read this. We are all different, different as people and different as couples etc... What works for one person or one couple MAY not work for everyone. I stress the MAY because I like getting your opinions but then sometimes it seems that I'm being told what to do. Examples: Tell him (Why? I LIKE that he has no idea - bizarre right?) ...Become swingers (No - It couldn't happen and anyway even if it could I wouldn't want that) ...Stop (Sure) ...Get sex toys (Sure, one with a man attached) ...Discover religion etc... I'm not looking for salvation and I know that cheating is a selfish thing. I am happy though and isn't that what it's all about?
I need to write another post :) hopefully I can today
Bye for now
A
It's been such a long time since blogging last I was afraid I'd forgotten how. Fellow bloggers do you get in the situation where you postpone blogging but you make mental notes of things you want to blog about and then when the time comes you realise it would take days to write everything and there's more stuff coming in anyway? (eeek)
It's been hectic (one of my big problems with this blog is that there is so much sundry info I just can't share, because I'm borderline sociopathically paranoid - that be my rules and they keep me sane, but it makes the blogging a bit more difficult), but that's no excuse for not blogging a line or two even. Since this blog is primarily written to me (no offence to anyone) I need to say sorry to me first. I really hope me accepts my apology graciously.
I saw this article which I thought was pretty interesting ...
http://findnewpassion.com/articles.php?articleID=4&action=viewarticle
I've been emailed quite a few times mostly as a result of the article in the Independent. The email subjects and my thoughts on them are listed here:
1. There is something wrong with me and I need help - Perhaps and perhaps I can also say that there is something wrong with the type of person that feels the need to write to me and assume a position of moral superiority. There are honest caring people out there but I haven't received any ail from those in the context of this type of email and HONESTLY if they did write and present a good argument I WOULD listen because I am not about hurting my family or myself. It's like why I gave up smoking (started again :( ) - I was pregnant and it was a danger to my baby - I stopped without chemicals or shock therapy. Anyway, these types of emails have been mostly acidic and mostly from men. I've received about 14 like this, and a fair number of them have gone on to tell me how perfect their lives and wives are. Well done! Write to the Dalai Lama and get a medal. Why tell unimportant little me? Uhhh ... guess why it's called cheating? Because one party doesn't know and assumes everything is perfect.
2. Other women who are in similar situations. Interestingly there seems to be a lot more emotional attachments, as in the lover is the emotional substitute for the husband, than I would have thought, but like all things on the internet its highly probable that only certain people read certain things and ... the sample is not a good measure of the population.
3. Men in similar situations. There have been a few really awesome and unbelievably insightful emails from guys and then ... Then theres the 'I want to impress a stranger' guys. They've slept with so many women its frightening and on top of that while being married. How do they manage marriage while never going home? One guy whose email I really enjoyed (intellectually! - focus people) was pretty honest I think. He hasn't had countless lovers and he isn't powerful enough to hire secretaries who he screws and who let him all the time. It took him 2 years to hook up with someone else and that was due to the difficulty in actually meeting someone, getting time, not backing off.
4. Advice givers. Don't get me wrong I love advice but please read this. We are all different, different as people and different as couples etc... What works for one person or one couple MAY not work for everyone. I stress the MAY because I like getting your opinions but then sometimes it seems that I'm being told what to do. Examples: Tell him (Why? I LIKE that he has no idea - bizarre right?) ...Become swingers (No - It couldn't happen and anyway even if it could I wouldn't want that) ...Stop (Sure) ...Get sex toys (Sure, one with a man attached) ...Discover religion etc... I'm not looking for salvation and I know that cheating is a selfish thing. I am happy though and isn't that what it's all about?
I need to write another post :) hopefully I can today
Bye for now
A
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Possible poll questions
This is a mixture of various types of questions that interest me and which I'd like to run polls on in the future, some are a bit out-there.
Money:
1. When you spend money on capital items (cars, houses, land), what is most important to you? (a) Quality (which could mean luxury) (b) Value for money (practicality) (c) Investment value (For example buying a house that you may not perfectly like in an area which shows promise for the future) (d) I buy what I like and price doesn't concern me (e) I buy based on a plan such as a pre-determined income/investment vs expenditure ratio.
You can choose more than 1
2. I spend too much money (in your opinion) on (a) Capital items, (b) Consumables (including clothing), (c) Insurance (d) Investment
3. The bulk of my spending is to ensure in some way that my children have a good future. (a) Yes (b) No
Perceptions of People:
1. The MOST important quality for me in a good friend is (Choose 1 only - or rank them if I can figure out how: (a) Honesty, (b) Fun to be with, (c) Someone I know will come through for me if I need them, (d) Someone who is imperfect and has issues we can discuss (It's not a very good poll but I can work on it with help)
2. For women. I believe there are two types of men, Alpha-males and others. The alpha-male label is NOT a cover-all compliment as these types of guys rarely can settle down and would be difficult to love, BUT they are fun and very sexually dominant. Do you think that my view is valid? (a) Yes, (b) No, (c) There are more categories
The Universe
1. I believe the universe is alive with connected energies. I also believe that these energies can be in harmony or in chaos, and when our personal universe is in chaos then we as people are not in a comfortable place. (a) I agree, (b) I agree to some extent (please send me a mail explaining what you think), (c) It's a nonsensical belief
Cheating and Sexuality:
1. Cheating on my spouse gives me an independence and ownership of myself that I love (a) Agree (b) Disagree
2. If, hypothetically your spouse would be ok with you seeing someone else sexually. Would you do this? (a) Yes - Of course, (b) No - Its not the same, cheating has its own thrill, (c) No - I don't want him to know as this would change who we are and my spouse's perception of me.
3. Men. What quality do you look for most in the woman you marry. (a) Appearance, (b) Humour and fun to be with (c) Someone you see as the ideal mother for your children (d) Other - please explain
4. Men. What quality do you look for most in a woman you will have a fling with? (as above, or should it be different?)
5. Same for Women
Sex Acts:
1. Women where do you PREFER the man to ejaculate? (a) Fully in my mouth (b) Mouth and face (c) On my body (d) Wherever his cock is when he cums.
2. Same question for men
3. What is your favourite position for sex out of (a) Missionary - all forms (b) Doggy - all forms (c) Spooning
4. Women. Do you enjoy anal sex? (a) Yes (b) No (c) Sometimes - please specify
5. Men. Same as above
I have so maany more I'd love to poll on. What do the readers think? Is this way too self absorbed to ask? Am I asking questions to serve my own bias?
Love your feedback
Amy
Money:
1. When you spend money on capital items (cars, houses, land), what is most important to you? (a) Quality (which could mean luxury) (b) Value for money (practicality) (c) Investment value (For example buying a house that you may not perfectly like in an area which shows promise for the future) (d) I buy what I like and price doesn't concern me (e) I buy based on a plan such as a pre-determined income/investment vs expenditure ratio.
You can choose more than 1
2. I spend too much money (in your opinion) on (a) Capital items, (b) Consumables (including clothing), (c) Insurance (d) Investment
3. The bulk of my spending is to ensure in some way that my children have a good future. (a) Yes (b) No
Perceptions of People:
1. The MOST important quality for me in a good friend is (Choose 1 only - or rank them if I can figure out how: (a) Honesty, (b) Fun to be with, (c) Someone I know will come through for me if I need them, (d) Someone who is imperfect and has issues we can discuss (It's not a very good poll but I can work on it with help)
2. For women. I believe there are two types of men, Alpha-males and others. The alpha-male label is NOT a cover-all compliment as these types of guys rarely can settle down and would be difficult to love, BUT they are fun and very sexually dominant. Do you think that my view is valid? (a) Yes, (b) No, (c) There are more categories
The Universe
1. I believe the universe is alive with connected energies. I also believe that these energies can be in harmony or in chaos, and when our personal universe is in chaos then we as people are not in a comfortable place. (a) I agree, (b) I agree to some extent (please send me a mail explaining what you think), (c) It's a nonsensical belief
Cheating and Sexuality:
1. Cheating on my spouse gives me an independence and ownership of myself that I love (a) Agree (b) Disagree
2. If, hypothetically your spouse would be ok with you seeing someone else sexually. Would you do this? (a) Yes - Of course, (b) No - Its not the same, cheating has its own thrill, (c) No - I don't want him to know as this would change who we are and my spouse's perception of me.
3. Men. What quality do you look for most in the woman you marry. (a) Appearance, (b) Humour and fun to be with (c) Someone you see as the ideal mother for your children (d) Other - please explain
4. Men. What quality do you look for most in a woman you will have a fling with? (as above, or should it be different?)
5. Same for Women
Sex Acts:
1. Women where do you PREFER the man to ejaculate? (a) Fully in my mouth (b) Mouth and face (c) On my body (d) Wherever his cock is when he cums.
2. Same question for men
3. What is your favourite position for sex out of (a) Missionary - all forms (b) Doggy - all forms (c) Spooning
4. Women. Do you enjoy anal sex? (a) Yes (b) No (c) Sometimes - please specify
5. Men. Same as above
I have so maany more I'd love to poll on. What do the readers think? Is this way too self absorbed to ask? Am I asking questions to serve my own bias?
Love your feedback
Amy
Still sick
Oh well, I'm human after all :)
For anyone who's interested in the poll I was running, "
1. Yes - I'm falling out of love with my spouse - 66%
2. Yes - Never loved my spouse - 16%
3. No - LOVE is for my spouse exclusively - 16%
4. No - I can love many people - 27%
So, I fall into category 3. That's pretty normal based on the poll.
I think 4. depends a lot on your definition of love, my bias says you I can be romantic with and have great sex with others but love is something very unique - its about lifetime commitment and being able to be selfless to the other person. It is MY very subjective bias and even though I do get a bit confused about it, especially with the amount of time JM and I have together - I know its not love. We have a selfish need for each other.
It does surprise me a little that a whopping 66% are 'falling out of love' with their spouse - I expected that category to have more more but not so much more.
Was the poll a good one? Was it clearly understandable and did it cover all aspects? By that I mean the poll questions asked should cover all possible situations under the research topic.
Should I do more polls?
Thank you everyone for answering.
Love
Amy
For anyone who's interested in the poll I was running, "
For married men and women who are involved in a discreet adult relationship with someone else. Do you believe you love your spouse any less than a faithful married person?"
27 people have responded so far. I think that's pretty good.1. Yes - I'm falling out of love with my spouse - 66%
2. Yes - Never loved my spouse - 16%
3. No - LOVE is for my spouse exclusively - 16%
4. No - I can love many people - 27%
So, I fall into category 3. That's pretty normal based on the poll.
I think 4. depends a lot on your definition of love, my bias says you I can be romantic with and have great sex with others but love is something very unique - its about lifetime commitment and being able to be selfless to the other person. It is MY very subjective bias and even though I do get a bit confused about it, especially with the amount of time JM and I have together - I know its not love. We have a selfish need for each other.
It does surprise me a little that a whopping 66% are 'falling out of love' with their spouse - I expected that category to have more more but not so much more.
Was the poll a good one? Was it clearly understandable and did it cover all aspects? By that I mean the poll questions asked should cover all possible situations under the research topic.
Should I do more polls?
Thank you everyone for answering.
Love
Amy
Sick
I'm feeling sooo sorry for myself.
I took ill two days ago (the flu). The doctors been over and given me the alchemy to make me better. I feel AWFUL. My head hurts and I've gone from shivering to hot sweats in seconds. So far I've had the meds and my mum-in-laws home remedies.
Does anyone have a cold remedy they'd like to share? I'm willing to try anything that doesn't require blood letting or sacrices at midnight :)
Love
Amy
I took ill two days ago (the flu). The doctors been over and given me the alchemy to make me better. I feel AWFUL. My head hurts and I've gone from shivering to hot sweats in seconds. So far I've had the meds and my mum-in-laws home remedies.
Does anyone have a cold remedy they'd like to share? I'm willing to try anything that doesn't require blood letting or sacrices at midnight :)
Love
Amy
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Inspired by another blog
I saw a small 'rant' on The Wayward Wife's blog (http://confessionsofawaywardwife.blogspot.com/2009/09/my-darling-husband.html) and I thought I'd write a little on it.
Ok, here's the problems with writing this.
1. I know my audience is biased,
2. I sincerely believe that there are people, I call them moral evangelists, who will not care to listen to my argument, but in writing this I acknowledge their presence and give them importance,
3. I am not telling anyone how to live their lives or suggesting that the choices I have made are correct for them or in fact that I have made correct choices - Who knows what correct is? I write this because I have had an online 'friend' who used me in part to justify her actions, in some way making me accountable and excusing herself from the decisions she made.
Moral Evangelists
The intro to my blog clearly states my point of view, yet I still get email and the odd yahoo messenger message with something wonderfully perceptive like 'Sluts like you go to Hell' (I made that one up, but you get the point). I find there are different types of people out there who NEED to insult me in this way.
First you get the self-righteous, I call them moral evangelists, they live by wanting others to subscribe to their beliefs and world views - They KNOW they are right before entering into a discussion. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm not biased, I am, BIG time BUT I think the difference is I don't go onto blogs for faithful people who are in dysfunctional marriages and tell them what they MUST do to reach salvation.
Then there's the 'I'm not judging, just wanting to know your views' type. I've met a few like this - All men. While they say they are not judgemental they never really reconsider their point of view and you soon realise that all the questions they ask are simply structured to justify their position. I think this is a much worse person than the first as they are malicious and cowardly, thinking they are smarter than the rest of us and just waiting for an answer to pander to their interpretation so they can 'tut-tut' on the other side of the web.
Why cheat?
Honest answers only.
I love being desired.
I love the seduction, the flirting (which I don't do all the time and then only when its really necessary :) )
I love the clandestine nature of cheating. Yes I know it sounds evil, but there is a wicked thrill in being with another man, kissing, touching, fucking, sucking, eating his sperm - it's taboo and even though I've done it LOTS I never outgrow the thrill. I enjoy going home and knowing that hubby doesn't know - Anyone who doesn't like this - deal with it, my life not yours and by the way - I'm human
I love sex - That seems like something that is pretty normal for everyone but I do think that some people are more sexually needy than others. Or maybe everyone has the same desires but many keep it suppressed?
Sex is NOT love. I do think there are couples out there that have found everything they want in one person. Great sex and great love. I am genuinely happy for them. Love is, for me at least the most important thing in my marriage and I love my hubby deeply. I love him because of who he is, a soul-mate and someone I knew before I married that I could easily spend the rest of my life with. It is however exactly what I love in him that makes sexual attraction and spontaneity a little less. I would never have married my role model of the perfect guy for a fuck (I wrote before on the role of men and women in the bedroom). Sex is one small part of my overall happiness - the thing is I choose to have it all.
I am not a victim. For many reasons this has been a driving philosophy of mine for a LONG time. I don't like living in the 'What if I ... ' space or living my life robotically and not taking, fiercely all that life has to offer.
Although I think they'd never read or answer it, this is my question/point to the moral evangelists and others, more of who have come up since the Independent article was published: Isn't it the fear of being caught that prevents most people from cheating rather than anything else, and if so what does that say about what the person considering is actually worried about? If you think about it most people will always say 'What if he/she finds out?' My point is that that is all about the cheater worried about being caught. If my hubby doesn't know I am fucking someone else how does that affect him? Just because I do it?
Anyway that's my rant.
Love
Amy
Ok, here's the problems with writing this.
1. I know my audience is biased,
2. I sincerely believe that there are people, I call them moral evangelists, who will not care to listen to my argument, but in writing this I acknowledge their presence and give them importance,
3. I am not telling anyone how to live their lives or suggesting that the choices I have made are correct for them or in fact that I have made correct choices - Who knows what correct is? I write this because I have had an online 'friend' who used me in part to justify her actions, in some way making me accountable and excusing herself from the decisions she made.
Moral Evangelists
The intro to my blog clearly states my point of view, yet I still get email and the odd yahoo messenger message with something wonderfully perceptive like 'Sluts like you go to Hell' (I made that one up, but you get the point). I find there are different types of people out there who NEED to insult me in this way.
First you get the self-righteous, I call them moral evangelists, they live by wanting others to subscribe to their beliefs and world views - They KNOW they are right before entering into a discussion. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm not biased, I am, BIG time BUT I think the difference is I don't go onto blogs for faithful people who are in dysfunctional marriages and tell them what they MUST do to reach salvation.
Then there's the 'I'm not judging, just wanting to know your views' type. I've met a few like this - All men. While they say they are not judgemental they never really reconsider their point of view and you soon realise that all the questions they ask are simply structured to justify their position. I think this is a much worse person than the first as they are malicious and cowardly, thinking they are smarter than the rest of us and just waiting for an answer to pander to their interpretation so they can 'tut-tut' on the other side of the web.
Why cheat?
Honest answers only.
I love being desired.
I love the seduction, the flirting (which I don't do all the time and then only when its really necessary :) )
I love the clandestine nature of cheating. Yes I know it sounds evil, but there is a wicked thrill in being with another man, kissing, touching, fucking, sucking, eating his sperm - it's taboo and even though I've done it LOTS I never outgrow the thrill. I enjoy going home and knowing that hubby doesn't know - Anyone who doesn't like this - deal with it, my life not yours and by the way - I'm human
I love sex - That seems like something that is pretty normal for everyone but I do think that some people are more sexually needy than others. Or maybe everyone has the same desires but many keep it suppressed?
Sex is NOT love. I do think there are couples out there that have found everything they want in one person. Great sex and great love. I am genuinely happy for them. Love is, for me at least the most important thing in my marriage and I love my hubby deeply. I love him because of who he is, a soul-mate and someone I knew before I married that I could easily spend the rest of my life with. It is however exactly what I love in him that makes sexual attraction and spontaneity a little less. I would never have married my role model of the perfect guy for a fuck (I wrote before on the role of men and women in the bedroom). Sex is one small part of my overall happiness - the thing is I choose to have it all.
I am not a victim. For many reasons this has been a driving philosophy of mine for a LONG time. I don't like living in the 'What if I ... ' space or living my life robotically and not taking, fiercely all that life has to offer.
Although I think they'd never read or answer it, this is my question/point to the moral evangelists and others, more of who have come up since the Independent article was published: Isn't it the fear of being caught that prevents most people from cheating rather than anything else, and if so what does that say about what the person considering is actually worried about? If you think about it most people will always say 'What if he/she finds out?' My point is that that is all about the cheater worried about being caught. If my hubby doesn't know I am fucking someone else how does that affect him? Just because I do it?
Anyway that's my rant.
Love
Amy
Monday, September 21, 2009
Getting back into blogging
I haven't blogged in a while because its been so hectic.
I hope everyone who reads or follows my blog is well and happy.
Now...getting back into blogging
I'm not sure what to write. Some advice please.
Did my post about writing straight from the head make sense?
What do you want me to write about?
Confused,
Amy
I hope everyone who reads or follows my blog is well and happy.
Now...getting back into blogging
I'm not sure what to write. Some advice please.
Did my post about writing straight from the head make sense?
What do you want me to write about?
Confused,
Amy
Friday, September 18, 2009
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